I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
