Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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