I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
