I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
