Who did Billy Mays play for?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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