I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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