i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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