I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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