And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
