He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
