Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
