She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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