Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
