Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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