seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
