all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
