Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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