im drinking this country out of the recession.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
