no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His nipple licking is glorious
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