"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
