but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
