I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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