are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
