She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
