and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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