Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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