woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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