I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
