Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
