She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
