My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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