Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
