i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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