I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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