So drunk, too bad you don't want this
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i love accidental penises.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
