If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
