pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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