I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
