Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
