well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
