my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
