her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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