i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
