Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
