Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize