So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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