I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
