Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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