imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize