I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize