I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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