It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
