Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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