I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
