I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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