Please, let me fuck your mom
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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