Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
