it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
