Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
