im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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