good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
