I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
