My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
