Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
