Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
