Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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