Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You left your phone here
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